These Words shared by A Dad That Rescued Us as a First-Time Parent

"I think I was just just surviving for the first year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the challenges of becoming a dad.

However the actual experience rapidly proved to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Serious health complications around the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into acting as her main carer in addition to caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing each nighttime feed, each diaper… every walk. The role of both mum and dad," Ryan shared.

After nearly a year he burnt out. That was when a talk with his own dad, on a park bench, that helped him see he needed help.

The direct phrases "You are not in a healthy space. You require assistance. In what way can I support you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and find a way back.

His story is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. While the public is now more comfortable talking about the strain on mums and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges fathers encounter.

Asking for help is not weak to request support'

Ryan thinks his challenges are part of a larger inability to open up amongst men, who continue to hold onto damaging ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and remains standing every time."

"It is not a show of failure to ask for help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, says men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're struggling.

They can believe they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - most notably ahead of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental well-being is just as important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad gave him the space to request a break - spending a few days away, outside of the home environment, to see things clearly.

He realised he had to make a change to consider his and his partner's emotions alongside the practical tasks of caring for a new baby.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has changed how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will read as he gets older.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to better grasp the expression of feelings and interpret his parenting choices.

The concept of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen lacked stable male a father figure. Despite having an "amazing" bond with his dad, profound emotional pain meant his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions resulted in him make "poor actions" when he was younger to alter how he felt, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as a way out from the anguish.

"You find your way to things that don't help," he notes. "They might short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will eventually exacerbate the problem."

Advice for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you're feeling under pressure, confide in a family member, your spouse or a professional about your state of mind. This can to lighten the load and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the activities that allowed you to feel like you before the baby arrived. It could be playing sport, seeing friends or gaming.
• Pay attention to the body - nutritious food, staying active and when you can, resting, all are important in how your emotional health is doing.
• Spend time with other new dads - hearing about their journeys, the difficult parts, as well as the joys, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Remember that seeking help does not mean you've failed - looking after you is the best way you can look after your family.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen naturally had difficulty processing the death, having not spoken to him for years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead offer the safety and emotional support he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - processing the emotions constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they confronted their issues, transformed how they communicate, and learned to regulate themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… sitting with things and dealing with things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo recently," Ryan shares. "I wrote, at times I believe my role is to guide and direct you what to do, but the truth is, it's a exchange. I am discovering just as much as you are on this path."